-= No SuCH THin9 =-

sTraNdEd ..

2005-01-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

Hey , ok , I promise to be back again here rite ? ^^ .. Nah , I'll update this blog .. But not frequently lar ..

Hmm .. I'm stranded now .. Bingung , sad , kacau2 .. Gw gak tau kenapa gw bisa gini man , gak tau kenapa tiba2 gw bisa cinta mati gini ama dia .. Gw gak tau kenapa gw gak bisa untuk GAK ngelupain dia , gak bisa untuk menahan segala memori and other thing tentang dia .. HaiZ , love is blind .. Agree wiff dats .

Oh iyah , stop wiff dat sad2 thingy , I'll try to forget all , everything tentang dia , it's hard tho ..

Oh iyah , U guys know rite that I'm currently broadcasting in indoFM Net Radio ? Hahah , yeah rite , an internet radio. If you guys lagi boring or feeling need a tune to listen to , klik ajah itu di banner indoFM nTuh ^^ [ http://radio.indofm.net:11579/listen.pls ] oKie ? HeHEehe ..

Dan kita currently sedang membuka lowongan untuk menjadi DJ indoFM saat ini. So kalau kalian mau ikut berpartisipasi, contact2 me ajah at decky@walla.com okiez ? Or leave sum notes lah di comments ^^

Syarat nya ituh .. Ada mic , lagu2 mencukupi , koneksi di atas dial up , huehu cable ato sejenisnya ..

ErM , Ini ,hehe , juz know what soul am I into ..

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Hahaha , damn , totally similar like me .. *haIiZz ..
Goodnite guys , so sleepy , meet ya later .. ^^

I swEaR ..

2005-01-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

Well .. *sigh* after changing back to my first layout here , I think I'll be back to bloggin stuff *yay* .. I feel that I need a space to put it out all my feeling and thought. So I decide , my blog is the best place for it.

Man .. Tahun lalu , sekitar bulan december , adalah bulan yang terberat yang pernah gw lalu-in di dalam hidup gw .. Gw baru tau gimana rasanya patah hati , terbuang , being trash off .. Darn , and I barely dead over for it.

Gw gak nyangka ajah , evrything went wrong , dan finally "dia" juz let me broke like this .. Gak ada .. Gak ada lagi yang tersisa , kesedihan gw udah abis buat menangisi hal ini .. Hari-hari gw jalanin berat banget , I can't stand to remembering all da sweet moment dat we have been together .. *frown*

When listening to Brown Eyes - Destiny Child`s song .. I felt like crying .. Hehee .. Stupid me .. Geez , everything happens so fast .. *sob*

I know I must forget you .. But how could I , if I always thinkin bout you ?

=========

Why can't I Let Go of You,
even though you don't love me?

Why can't I Let Go of You,
even if you don't really believe?

Why can't I Let Go of You,
even though every night I cry?

Why can't I Let Go of You,
even though a 100 times I try?

Why can't I let Go of You,
even though you caused me pain?

Why can't I Let Go of You,
even though your heart I cant contain?

Why can't I Let Go of You,
even though you won't love me?

Why can't I Let Go of You?
Maybe it just have to be!

=====

I luv you more .. more and more ..

bACk iN AcTiOn ..

2005-01-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

DaMn , it was a long time I never up date this blog anymore .. Feelin sooo lazy and bored nih .. Gak tau knapa , my mood isn't good in this December - January ..

Hey what .. I miss this bloggin thingy stuff , so , maybe I try my best to update this blog ok ? Hehehe , I can't promise to update the blog everyday ..

Heheh , gotta go bed early tonite , so damn sleepy and must get up early morro ..

A Letter To Patrick

2004-06-16T01:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Patrick,

I was then an only child
who had everything I could ever want. But even a pretty,
spoiled and rich kid could get lonely once in a while
so when Mom told me that she was pregnant,
I was ecstatic.
I imagined how wonderful you would be
and how we'd always be together
and how much you would look like me.
So, when you were born, I looked at your tiny hands and feet
and marveled at how beautiful you were.
We took you home and I showed you proudly to my friends.
They would touch you and sometimes pinch you,
but you never reacted.
When you were five months old,
some things began to bother Mom.
You seemed so unmoving and numb,
and your cry sounded odd -- almost like a kitten's.

So we brought you to many doctors.
The thirteenth doctor who looked at you quietly said
you have the "cry du chat" (pronounced kree-do-sha) syndrome,
'cry of the cat' in French.
When I asked what that meant,
he looked at me with pity and softly said,
"Your brother will never walk nor talk."
The doctor told us that it is a condition
that afflicts one in 50,000 babies,
rendering victims severely retarded.
Mom was shocked and I was furious.
I thought it was unfair. When we went home,
Mom took you in her armsand cried.
I looked at you and realized that word will get around
that you're not normal.
So to hold on to my popularity,
I did the unthinkable ... I disowned you.
Mom and Dad didn't know but
I steeled myself not to love you as you grew.

Mom and Dad showered you with love
and attention and that made me bitter.
And as the years passed,
that bitterness turned to anger, and then hate.
Mom never gave up on you.
She knew she had to do it for your sake.
Every time she put your toys down,
you'd roll instead of crawl.
I watched her heart break every time she took away your toys
and strapped your tummy with foam so you couldn't roll.
You'd struggle and you'd cry in that pitiful way,
the cry of the kitten. But she still didn't give up.
And then one day,
you defied what all your doctors said -- you crawled.
When Mom saw this, she knew that you would eventually walk.
So when you were still crawling at age four,
she'd put you on the grass with only your diapers
on knowing that you hate the feel of the grass your skin.
Then she'd leave you there.
I would sometimes watch from the window
and smile at your discomfort.
You would crawl to the sidewalk and Mom would put you back.
Again and again, Mom repeated this on the lawn.
Until one day,
Mom saw you pull yourself up and toddle off the grass
as fast as your little legs could carry you.
Laughing and crying, she shouted for Dad and I to come.
Dad hugged you crying openly.
I watched from my bedroom window this heartbreaking scene.
Over the years, Mom taught you to speak, read and write.
From then on, I would sometimes see you walk outside,
smell the flowers, marvel at the birds, or just smile at no one.
I began to see the beauty of the world around me,
the simplicity of life and the wonders of this world,
through your eyes.
It was then that I realized that you were my brother
and no matter how much I tried to hate you, I couldn't,
because I had grown to love you.
During the next few days,
we again became acquainted with each other.
I would buy you toys and give you all the love that
a sister could ever give to her brother.
And you would reward me by smiling and hugging me.

But I guess, you were never really meant for us.
On your tenth birthday, you felt severe headaches.
The doctor's diagnosis -- leukemia.Mom gasped and Dad held her,
while I fought hard to keep my tears from falling.
At that moment, I loved you all the more.
I couldn't even bear to leave your side.
Then the doctors told us that your only hope was
to have a bonemarrow transplant.
You became the subject of a nationwide donor search.
When at last we found the right match, you were too sick,
and the doctor reluctantly ruled out the operations.
Since then, you underwent chemotherapy and radiation.

Even at the end, you continued to pursue life.
Just a month before you died,
you made me draw up a list of things you wanted to do
when you got out of the hospital.
Two days after the list was completed,
you asked the doctors to send you home.
There, we ate ice cream and cake, run across the grass,
flew kites, went fishing, took pictures of one another
and let the balloons fly.

I remember the last conversation that we had.
You said that if you die, and if I need of help,
I could send you a note to heaven
by tying it on the string any a balloon and letting it fly.
When you said this, I started crying. Then you hugged me.
Then again, for the last time, you got sick.
That last night, you asked for water,
a back rub, a cuddle.
Finally, you went into seizure with tears streaming down your face.
Later, at the hospital,
you struggled to talk but the words wouldn't come..
I know what you wanted to say.
"I hear you," I whispered.
And for the last time, I said,
"I'll always love you and I will never forget you.
Don't be afraid. You'll soon be with God in heaven."

Then, with my tears flowing freely,
I watched the bravest boy
that I had ever known finally stop breathing.
Dad, Mom and I cried until
I felt as if there were no more tears left.
Patrick was finally gone, leaving us behind.

From then on, you were my source of inspiration.
You showed me how to love life and live life to the fullest.
With your simplicity and honesty,
you showed me a world full of love and caring.
And you made me realize
that the most important thing in this life is
to continue loving without asking
why or how and without setting any limit.
Thank you, my little brother, for all these.

Your Sister

Damn .. I really luV dis Story guyS .. Taken FroM my Old BloG , GilE .. , 9w ampE adegan nan9is2 sgaLa pas Baca ini Lagih .. kuuku , GiLa AKh !! :P~

FrEnsTer ..

2004-06-03T23:12:00.000-07:00

HeLlo .. HUhueuhe , erm lagi pucink niyh .. Khkuehukeu .. Now I'm free frOm scHoOl , YiPpie !! And da worse is , gW bT man di rumah .. :P feeLin kindda bOreD huh , jUz plAying Game , Internet , blablabla ..

Eh iyaH .. LetS now we TalkIn1 bout dis Frenster stUff .. You know .. Gw itu pertama kali kenal FrensTER on sePtember .. Yay ! Gw kenal itu benda dari One Of my banD mAte .. Gw di suruh nge browse ma diya , ke here .. Den I clicked it out , and wat I fuound is a well Known bOring stuff .. :P *LOL* But , okeyh , I still trying tO confi9ure it out and signing up and finally have an account . LOL , I swear I dunno wat is da main purpose about this thingy stuff :P I'm BLIND *LOL*

Jadi yah gituh , gw gK aktif lagi .. :P~ , and finally i'm back to frenster on january .. Wew , u know wat .. Ada kale 3o-an orang yang nge add gw .. * bleh somse* :P~
And gw juga ngeliat klo ternyata frenster itu asYikKk bGt .. huee , I can get this testimonial from others and hAve a lot of frenz man dari sini ^^ .. Well , i noe , beberapa orang mungkin ngerasa klo frenster ini nge-Bt-in banget and masih terbengong-bengong apa sehh maksudnya ? wekekekekek .. Yah U gotta find da answer urself kali yeee :P hueuhe , pokoknya FRENSTER itu aseek lhoww ..

So , da next thing you MUST do is .. add gw yeh di frenster .. NiH add gw --> dewaku_10@hotmail.com Ok ? :P~

-= u SHoULd spoT diS RaDio .. =-

2004-05-30T18:25:00.000-07:00

HUhuiehue ..
What I mean is one and the only beSt radio indoFM in EFnet ^^

Yeah , I'm doing DJing stUff here .. Releasing my desire *LOL* and stressFull of weekend or my daY tho .. anyway , u gotta here me ON aIR DUDEE ^^ jUz uSes HERE and make sure u hae yOur winamp on your Windows .. If not , go download it at Here ..

Oh yeah , *skarang ngomong bhs indo ajeh kali yeh :P * gw jd inget , maren pas balik ke blogger , gw aneh bin salabim ngeliat tampilan baru blogger .. Duwh , jd malu ndiri , udah lama seh gX buka2 blogger :P~ , then I was like .. Wtf .. Kok gini yeh ? :P~ HUhuehue .. Feelin like orang kampung gitu , even I forget my paswot and at last , I hv it thru my email .. :P~

Oh yeah , den I wvs extremely surprise wiff Bloggin werlD nowdays .. Damn , i felt like .. ketinggalan bGt man :P~

Tapi gw skarang lebih bisa ngerti apa itu bLog sebenarnya .. Dulu bisa di bilang gw klo nGe bLog males bGt isi ttG kegiatan2 gW in a week .. Yeah , rite , I oWeys post those craps storey yg Sedih2 itu .. But , it'S ok , at least my blog visitor hV a thing to read .. :P~

DarNt .. DaRn .. Boring siaH ..

Day aFTer toMorrOW .. whicH iS gOnNa bE Monday .. ??

2004-05-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

HUehuehu .. Finally I'm back again in this blooger stuFF . YaY ^^ I dunno , felt like wanna juMpin2 agaiN and agaiN . YeaH it's been awhile for me to hiatus . DarnT . HUIuhie .. aCtually i've been occupied by this kickin` *beep* *beep* thingy schooliN` stUff . But hey ^^ I'm back now for good :P~ I think I miss dis thingy stuff and aLL my bloggerian FreNz ^^ . aNd oh yevh , I move my URL to http://d3cky.blogspot.com coz I think my old address http://bythenameoflove.blogspot.com was too .. erm , dunno waT to says , crowded huh ? uhuehuie .. SucKx foR thinkin` it again and again :P~ .

Btw guyS , pls do teLL me if u guyS noe me *coZ i forgot aLL da link of your's who is known me at da past* Sowi .. So far i juZ can save those Link in my New bLog here .. So if u wanna me link in ur's or u noe ME , do tell me k ;)

Past this week was juZ a burden for me anyway :P~ Bz wiff exaMs and otHers . aNd now , yeah ^^ I'm goNna watch The Day after Tomorrow tho .. Watchin` da preview and makes me Groovy :P~ and yeah , no other thing is juZ walK arouNd Orchard *which i caLLed it BORED stuff .. HUhuie , C`mon man , u lived in singapoRe .. ueuiehui .. DarNt darNt .. ^^

I'll hooked u up later k wiff others sum of my posting . For now think I'm gonna take a shower and be ready for My daY , YaY ^^ BYe gUys ^^